Last week I babysat two boys—17 months and 3 years old. I really thought I would have more trouble out of the 17 month old since I have had issues with that age in the past. To my surprise the three year old challenged me more. I usually have little trouble out of three year old boys, but maybe that’s just me.
One of the methods I found that worked with N. was the “When you do this, then you may do that” statement. I learned it from Positive Discipline. Here is one scenario to show you how it works:
N. (3 yr old boy) had just finished his lunch where he had thrown pieces of his hot dog on the floor with much delight.
He was down from his chair and started to head for the stairway when he said, “I’m going to play with my train set upstairs.”
“Okay,” I cheerfully replied, but then I added, “When you pick up the hot dog pieces, you may play with your train.”
I said this kindly and firmly.
He continued to head for the stairs. I followed him repeating what I had just said in the same tone.
He replied, “I don’t want to pick up the hot dogs. I want to play with my train.”
As he headed up the stairs I gently put my hand on his arm to get ready to lead him into the dining room, if necessary. Immediately, though, he said, “Okay, I’ll pick up my hot dogs and then I’ll play with my train.” He did not act upset or mad at all; he just obeyed.
A victory always feels nice, especially when there is no yelling, anger, or punishment involved. This simple method of kindly and firmly repeating the “when and then” statement over and over worked several times with N.
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