12-month Court Process for Foster Children

The big question concerning foster children is, "How long will the child(ren) be in your home?" This is a tough question to answer because usually foster parents have no idea! We received this chart in our PRIDE training last Saturday. This can at least be a reference for those who are concerned about the timeline of the children in our care.

Adventures in Baby-sitting--The Conclusion

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Overall, I enjoyed baby-sitting my nephews! It was a lot of work but I am so glad I had the time to bond with them and get to know them better. I learned some things along the way:

• I love Positive Discipline methods, but until I figure them out for kids under six years old, I'll be using a kind and firm time-out!
• If I am confident with what I am trying to teach them, keep it up and eventually they will get it. Such was the case with my dog. I kept saying over and over that he wouldn't hurt them and he just wants to play. Though at first they were screaming their lungs out, it didn't take them long to understand what I said was true.
• The Tickle Monster needs to visit frequently!

Nate and Trey found some balloons that were leftover prizes from church. That was one of their favorite things to play with at my house! The best part to them was that they got to take the balloons home with them. 

Nate, what was your happiest time at my house? 

Playing with Chico!

Adventures in Baby-sitting--Church with the Boys

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 3

Part 1
Part 2
Part 4

The Tickle Monster!

After the bout with time-outs I wanted to reconnect with Nate and Trey. They didn't seem upset at all and they didn't cry when they were in time-out. I just wanted to keep their environment relaxed and happy. So...

...the tickle monster arrived! I chased the boys through the house and tickled them when they landed on Grandma's bed. They had a blast and loved every minute of it! It was my favorite time of all while they were staying with me.

Mom prepared a good meal for Nate and Trey that Saturday evening, so we ate and then I took the boys back to my house. We played, picked up the toys, ate a snack, prepared for bed (including a bath), and read books. I have a book called, Being Destructive. We read it on Friday night and Nate wanted to read it again on Saturday night! I was surprised since it was kind of long.

Josh came home on Saturday night after the boys were asleep. The next morning Josh prepared eggs for breakfast and dressed the boys for me. :) They love Josh! Thankfully, the boys had another great night of sleep. We ended up leaving for church 15 minutes earlier than usual! 

Learning to Sit Still

I'll skip to the church service...at the beginning of the service the boys were both sitting with my mom, I think, but eventually both boys ended up on the second row with me. Big mistake! Josh was playing the guitar so he couldn't help, and the boys decided to put on their silly act for the rest of the congregation. :) After a few minutes of trying to get them to sit down beside me I took their hands and led them down the aisle out of the sanctuary. "Let's go to time-out." I told them.

I tried sitting in the very back with them but they kept banging their heads against the wall, making quite a racket, to the point of people turning around to see what was going on! So my mom and I both took the boys to the foyer where there were two chairs. They sat down and were not phased a bit. They were still acting silly like it was all a game. I know they are just little ones and don't completely understand everything. Mom and I were frustrated though!

Thankfully, the time out calmed them down and they finally understood we meant business. Mom took Trey with her and she said he played with a toy quietly during the service. I looked Nate in the eyes, and told him that I knew he could sit quietly in church. I rubbed his back while I said this. I also explained exactly what was going to happen during church (sing, hear preaching, piano plays, go home)

"What will happen if you start jumping around and being loud?"

"I'll have to sit in time-out."

And Nate did sit quietly and still the rest of the church service! Whew!

Adventures in Baby-sitting--SuperNanny Arrives!

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 2

Part 1

Part 3
Part 4

Saturday

After an AMAZING night's sleep, (for the boys, that is) Nate and Trey woke up full of joy. I honestly thought they would wake up crying or something. They slept from about 9pm until 8am Saturday morning! I was so thankful they had a good night's sleep!

They ate a good breakfast and played for a while and then I measured out the ingredients for making whole wheat sugar cookies. I let them dump the ingredients into the bowl, which was a wonderful treat to them! I also taught them how to use the electric mixer--another delightful experience.

Off to Grandma's House

After a while we took the dough over to my parents' house so we could eventually make and decorate cookies over there, so they could enjoy the boys, too. My mistake was not making them take a nap! When I'm baby-sitting someone else's children I try to choose my battles carefully, though. They take naps at day care during the week but not usually when they're at home.

I did want the boys to at least do something low key for a while, so I put in one of the DVDs they had brought along. Apparently that wasn't enough rest for the poor little guys. Guess I should have done what I would have done with my own kids. Anyway, by the time the dough was ready they were uninterested in making cookies! lol

I jumped in and started messing with the dough, though, and they eventually came around and decorated some. Trey loved pouring the sprinkles on the cookies and stood on the stool for a while, helping. Nate was good at eating the cookies once they were baked. :)

Not used to having two active little boys in my house, I was exhausted! But I knew that it was perfect training for having foster kids. 

The boys got a second wind that afternoon and started acting silly and screaming again. They took off their shirts, which I decided not to battle with (after all, they weren't trekking through the snow or anything!), but the screaming I would not tolerate.

SuperNanny to the Rescue!

Up until now, I had been using Positive Discipline techniques (no punishment, just kind and firm teaching) with the boys. However, when they refused to stop screaming I remembered what I had watched on SuperNanny.  (the firm, one-warning-and-then-time-out technique) It took a while, as it does with most kids, for them to realize they really had to sit there until it was time to get up. (only one minute per year of age) When they got up before their allotted time, the timer started over.

After a couple of sessions of time-out, the boys started obeying me. They would scream, for instance, and then I would say, "If you scream again, you will sit in time-out." They would say, "Okay".

Stay tuned for part three in this series!

Adventures in Baby-sitting--Two Boys and a Dog

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Trey is standing on a stool and Nate is on the right.

Last weekend I had two of my nephews from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. Nate is 4 years old and Trey is 2.5 years. They are very active and love to be silly. Trey imitates just about everything that Nate does.

Right after their parents left on Friday afternoon I think they were just playing, but I can't remember the details. We were still at my parents' house but it was just my mom, grandmother, and the boys and I. Somewhere I got the crazy idea to take them in public so soon go to Chic-fil-A and let them play on the small, indoor playground. So around 4 or 5pm the boys, my mom, Grandma, and me went to the Chic-fil-A near my house. 

Testing the Boundaries with Aunt Kerry

It was about this time the boys decided to test me out, I think. "Let's see what we can get away with!" Before we even got in the car, they decided to run the other way, laughing. After taking their hands and leading them to their car seats, we were on our way.

The testing game continued in the car. They decided to scream (just for fun) as loudly as they could. I asked them to stop but it was too hilarious for them to stop. We arrived at the fast food joint and when we got inside to stand in line, they decided they wanted to pull on my arm and not stand up. Of course, we were surrounded by people, but I told Trey in a firm voice to stand up and he did for a minute.

As we sat down to eat they didn't act very hungry and took turns jumping on the seat and then sliding under the table to try to escape. I did insist that they eat some before they played and they did. My mom ended up with Nate in her lap and Trey was right beside me with my arm around him. They finally figured out that they weren't going anywhere until they ate something. 

After playing for a while they were ready to go to my house. My mother and Grandma had already left. So, we arrived at our duplex with a trunk full of their belongings. Hmm... There was no way I could carry it all in one shot so I took the boys in the house and told them to wait while I made a couple of trips to the car. 

Terrified By the Dog

My mistake was not introducing them to the dog first! Chico, my year old Shih Tzu, was in the kitchen, behind a gate, but when he sees someone new he gets super excited. He jumps up and down and cries. Evidently, this put some fear into the boys! I was afraid, though, that if I waited to get the stuff out of the trunk that it would be dark and I would totally forget about it. Then, I would have had to run outside to grab a diaper and pajamas and stuff. I now realize that would have been much better than having the boys terrified by the dog! I have to say that my dog is great with kids and he didn't do anything to harm them.

Silly Chico!

So, when I got everything in the house I needed to let the dog out, but Nate freaked out and said, "No! I don't want you to let him out!" This made Trey get scared, too, so Nate started screaming for his Daddy and Trey started screaming for Mommy! For a minute, I seriously considered taking everything back to the car and spending the night at my parents, without the dog.

I knew, because of past experience, that if I left the dog in the kitchen he would continue to jump around and want to greet our visitors, therefore being even more obnoxious. Also, the sooner the boys got to know Chico, the sooner they would realize that he would not hurt them.

Long story short, after much screaming, letting the dog out of the kitchen but holding Nate (Trey must have been on the recliner), I decided to create a diversion. "Hey, guys it's bath time!"

I don't know why, but BATH TIME SAVED THE DAY! Once they got in the bathtub with the new Ferrari Hot Wheels we bought, they were like different children. While they were in the bathtub they even talked about playing with Chico when they got out.  Huh?!

And so it was that they were calm and learned to love Chico in a span of about 30 minutes. Whew! I wasn't sure if I still wanted a dog after that fiasco!

to be continued...

Shopping!

We needed a step stool for the bathroom but I thought I'd go ahead and get a potty, too! I like things that are multi-purpose. :)

Cloth Baby Toys
The cab of the truck unzips and holds the tools.

Nothing like a set of wooden blocks!

I'm really trying to not accumulate a million cheap, plastic toys. I mean, how many of your kid's toys do your kids actually end up playing with? I will admit, though, it is hard not to buy a lot of toys. There are so many cute things out there, but I really want just some basic toys that will hopefully last a long time. We'll see how long this philosophy lasts when we get kids in the house! 

It's for their own good, though. They won't have as much to clean up and they won't be ruined by having too many material things. It can also teach them responsibility with saving their own money to buy something they want. That is another subject entirely, though.

Any suggestions on what other toys to buy? What are your kid's favorite toys?

Upcoming Training and An Update

Upcoming Schedule for Foster Care Training Classes:

• December 3rd  PRIDE
• December 10th* PAPH and MEDS & Trauma Informed Care  

We have filled out every piece of paperwork that is possible at this time, so we are somewhat in the waiting stage. In a way, it feels like a pregnancy (not that I've ever experienced one before). Feelings of excitement are in the air, but at the same time a realization that everything in our lives is about to drastically change--for the better, of course! :) I'm also somewhat in awe or shock, realizing that something I've been waiting for for over 10 years is about to happen--I'll be a mother.

On another note, we are waiting to get the final approval on a loan for a duplex we are trying to purchase. We were told to wait until Josh has been at the same job for a year. (That was last month.) The side in which we will be living has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Both sides have a garage. We will rent out the other side, of course. The owners have kept the place meticulously clean and it has just been painted and has brand new carpet!

I will certainly post pictures as soon as we close. If we do get this duplex we will have two bedrooms for the children, which will be great! I'll have to come up with another color scheme for the other bedroom. The one we have is more masculine than I intended but I really like it. I'll try to go more neutral on this other bedroom, though.

When we get a final word on the duplex we will be able to prepare our home for the inspections and the photos we have to have for foster care. I don't want to put child safety locks on all of our cabinets if we are just going to move in a matter of weeks! So, as soon as we find out we will have a lot to do.

When and if this loan is approved and we close on the duplex, Josh should be able to switch companies. This would mean that he would have more flexible hours and make more money. He also would not have to be gone for five days at a time.

*Edited 11/16/11 since the dates and location have changed. They are now holding classes in the city right next to us! We no longer have to travel 2.5 hours away on Saturday!

Blog Bash 2011

Hey there, I'm Kerry Leise. I'm joining the link-up party at WomenLivingWell.org. I've been married for over 10 years to an amazing man named Josh. We have no bio kids, but we are in the process to become licensed foster parents for kids 12 and under. I've been involved in children's ministries for many years. Josh and I also served in Papua, Indonesia as missionaries for 5.5 years.

This is the desk where I blog. I've been blogging since 2005 but have retired my missionary blog and moved on to blogging about my passion--children. 

Thinking and hoping that we would have a dozen children, I began preparing myself to be a parent well over ten years ago. I read every book I could on the subject and gathered all kinds of advice. We wanted to home school our children so I studied various methods and prepared our curriculum, also. A few years ago I figured all of this information was now useless since God didn't bless us with children.

Our 10th Anniversary

A couple of my friends have been brave enough to ask for advice from me, but I figured most people aren't interested in advice from someone who has yet to be a parent. I'm almost there, though, so if you're interested in learning about foster care adventures or to get another perspective on parenting, stay tuned!

Thanks for stopping by!

Annoying Behavior and the Reason Behind It, Part 2

In Part One I told you a story about poop-smearing and the reason behind the girl's behavior. Often kids do things that seem unnecessary or just plain annoying. Nobody is perfect. I do dumb things myself. It helps to remember that kids should not be expected to be perfect.

Jane Nelson made a handy chart to explain the reasons behind some of the annoying behavior we find in our children. (If the print is too small to read leave a comment or send me an email and I will email you the pdf version.) Check out PositiveDiscipline.com for more info on her books.

You will notice on the chart that when you feel annoyed for having to remind your child to do something, the child's goal is undue attention. (S)He mistakenly thinks, "I count (belong) only when I’m being noticed or getting special service. I’m only important when I’m keeping you busy with me."

So, how should we respond to this behavior in a way that is healthy and beneficial to the child? Here are Jane's ideas: "Redirect by involving child in a useful task to gain useful attention; ignore (touch without words); say what you will do, “I love you and ____.” (Example: I care about you and will spend time with you later.”) Avoid special service; have faith in child to deal with feelings (don’t fix or rescue); plan special time; set up routines; engage child in problem-solving; use family/class meetings; set up nonverbal signals."

Just the other day in the grocery store I saw the classic annoyed mother and two preschool age boys in the cart. Mom said, "Stop it and sit down! Why do you do this every time we go to the grocery store? Every time!" Nothing was in her cart yet so she had obviously just begun shopping. 

What could she have done with those boys? My first thought was: involve them in the shopping! Most kids would enjoy getting two cans of green beans off the shelf (if asked in a kind voice) and putting them in the basket. How many more seconds could it take for the child to take the item off the shelf than for you to do it? 

That little boy in the basket who was singing a little song and dancing around just wanted to be involved--to be a part of what his mother was doing. So many learning games could be played in the grocery store, and they wouldn't take up that much more time. How many items are on our shopping list. How many in the cart? How many more do we have to get? Of course, the older the child the more advanced the game could be.

Get creative and take the time to involve your child in what you are doing. It might take some effort but I guarantee you your child will not annoy you as much!

Annoying Behavior and the Reason Behind It, Part 1

Let's face it. Kids can do some things that really annoy us.

Last night I was listening to Life Matters and Mariah had Nancy Thomas on as a guest. Nancy told about a scenario of a foster child who had a habit of "poop smearing", and I don't think the child was a toddler. What could be more annoying than poop smeared on your walls? So, Nancy said she called the therapist and the therapist told her the next time she does it to not do anything, but call her immediately.

So, the next time the child decorated her bathroom with feces, she immediately called the therapist. The therapist came over to the house and put her arm around the little girl and said, "If that poop could talk, what would it say?"

Without hesitation the child answered, "I wonder if that man is still hurting my little brother and sister." Obviously, this was the root issue with her smearing feces all over the bathroom. To solve the problem, they found out what prison the man who hurt her was in and gave the child a photo of her younger siblings who were safe and sound.

Maybe your child doesn't do anything as drastic as poop smearing, but their behavior is still annoying. And in the heat of the moment the reason behind the behavior is probably the last thing on your mind. But try to think about it the next time your child does something that drives you crazy.

Do you ever have to keep reminding your child to do something over and over? Find out what is behind their behavior in Part 2.

F.A.Q.

Okay, apparently some of you are still in the dark about some things, so I will try to answer the most Frequently Asked Questions here.

Have you and Josh been checked by a doctor? Yes, we have seen an infertility specialist and nothing is preventing us from getting pregnant. We believe God is the one who opens and closes the womb and it is obvious He has chosen to close it for the past 10 years.

Are you planning on adopting the children that come to your home from foster care? No, adoption is not in our plans. If God makes it clear to us and leads us in that direction we will go there, but until then we are going to foster the children temporarily.

Do you get to choose the gender or ages of the children you will foster? On our application we were asked about our preferences. We plan to take newborns to 12 year olds, but we do not have a preference concerning gender or ethnicity. It comes down to a child or sibling group being removed from their abusive/neglectful home and needing a safe place to stay. Our preferences don't seem very important compared to their safety!

How many children are you planning on fostering at a time? At this point, we have one available bedroom with a crib and a twin-size bed. We can only legally take what we have room for, so we are limited to a baby and a child old enough to sleep on a twin bed.

How long will the child(ren) be in your home? See the 12-month court process for children. You may ask us where the child is in this process. That is probably about all the information we have, though.

If you have any more questions, leave a comment or send me an email.

The Foster Parenting Timeline Begins Today!

The process of getting our foster parenting license officially begins today, October 11, 2011. I am a little nervous, knowing that if for some reason this isn't God's timing or choice for our lives right now He could prevent us from getting licensed. But I need to trust Him, knowing that He knows what is best for us.

I just sent the email off to our foster care agency with 5 attached documents: our health status, marriage license, and background consent forms. I was about to scan the application when I realized I had an older version of it, so I started filling out the newer one and realized I needed some more info from Josh...who is sleeping soundly in his truck right now. It will have to wait until tomorrow! :(

Did I mention there is a lot of paperwork involved in foster parenting? Well, paperwork is nothing compared to the joy of knowing you are helping a child in need!

So, there you have it... the first post on our journey to getting licensed. If nothing else, I can keep this for my records.

The Encouraging Parent

I will never forget it. It was just a brief moment in time and yet it plays over and over in my mind. It must have been at least four years ago...

Josh and I were visiting some friends who had one child at the time. I think she was about three years old. While we adults were talking little Kate was over on the rug playing with her toys. She had been playing happily for a while when, quietly, her dad got up and went over to her.

He gently put his hand on her back and said, "I'm coming over here to encourage you." He praised her for playing so quietly and letting us talk. 

My heart melted. Just a few little words, but a love that will stay with that child for a lifetime.

Why Foster Parenting?

Josh and I first considered the idea of foster parenting about 10 years ago, after we were married only a short time. We found a couple of foster parents then and asked questions. I don't remember the initial reason foster parenting crossed our minds, other than the fact that we didn't get pregnant right away and we wanted a dozen or so kids. :) We had no idea, though, that we still wouldn't have any children 10 years later.

My thought then was: Get a child, fall in love with him/her, and adopt them. Josh's thought was: Be a blessing to many different children and hopefully lead them to God in the process. After thoroughly discussing the hows and whys of foster care it was apparent that it was not the right timing for us. I honestly, at that time, knew I couldn't handle giving the children back to the birth parents. Other reasons, including the fact that we lived in a 26 foot travel trailer and were about to travel all over the USA raising support for Indonesia, made it clear that there was no way we could be foster parents back then.

Fast-forward to 2 or 3 years ago when we were just talking and Josh said how if we ever lived in America again he would like to be a foster parent. Then, when we did end up here, back in America, we started seriously considering it.

Honestly, at first, the reason I wanted to be a foster parent was to simply have the joy of mothering a child--completely selfish. I had a desire and this was one way to fulfill a life-long dream. Now, I can say, since learning more about foster parenting, I want to do it because I know how great the need is and I believe I can be an instrument of healing in a child's life. And yes, even if it means giving the child back to his birth parents--which is the most likely scenario.

I must add that Josh has an amazing ability to teach, and children seem to gravitate to him. I know he'll make a great foster dad! I am so glad that he is not just agreeing to do this but is enthusiastic about it.

Is it tempting to keep our comfortable lifestyle the way it is? After all, we can go wherever we want, whenever we want, and do things without interruption. Yep, it sure is. But it's not about us. It's about the kids, and they are worth it!

Foster Kids' Room

Here are some photos of our foster kids' room (not sure if we'll have one or two at any given time). This is usually the last step in the process but, hey, I couldn't help myself! Most of the items you see were given to us.

Those Toddler Years!

I'm currently reading Positive Discipline the First Three Years. I like how the authors not only give you ideas on what to do but they also spend a lot of time explaining the whys of a toddler's behavior. It's easy to get caught up in the hair-pulling frustration of spending your days with a busy toddler, but I can imagine how knowing this information could help tremendously and make it easier to deal with that little needy person!

I've seen a change in my behavior since reading Positive Discipline books over the years. I look at children and treat them differently than I did ten years ago, and I'm thankful for that.

Good-bye, totheunreached.com

Our missions website will be removed sometime soon. Sad to see it go. So much time put into it! It was the story of our lives for many years.

I mentioned in the last post there that my husband, Josh, is a professional driver for Swift Transportation. We are looking forward to starting the training for foster care within the next six months. I don't think it is a requirement, but I hope and pray that Josh's job will be more flexible to where he can be home more often by then. Currently, he is gone during the week and only home on weekends.

Just a quick update for ya!

Stay By Mommy!

While babysitting four children, I needed to run outside and put two milk jugs into the recycle bin in front of the house. I could have just ran out the door, told the kids to stay inside (and hoped they would have), and been back in a matter of seconds. No harm in that, but I had three kids who wanted to be with me whatever I was doing.

I knew there was a possibility of some of the children running into the street or down the sidewalk, further than I would want, so I said, "Okay, all aboard the train!"

So the three of them grabbed onto each others hips and mine, like a train, and we danced out the door to the recycle bin and sang some silly made up "choo-choo" tune.

All were safe and sound and we had a good laugh and another moment together.

Let Them Be Involved

Kids want to do what you're doing. They want to be with you. Yep, it's quicker and easier to just do the task yourself most of the time, but the benefits of letting them help you far outweigh accuracy and efficiency.

I recently cared for four children (ages 3, 5, 8, & 10) for a couple of days. There were dishes to be washed, and I prefer hand-washing over dishwashers for some reason, so I started to wash them. The five and eight year old immediately wanted to help. I let the eight year old boy rinse and the five year old girl dry the dishes. For a little while the three year old did some drying, too.

It certainly wasn't the most efficient way to get the dishes clean, but I wouldn't trade those moments of laughter and hymn singing for anything!

Little moments like these are what your kids will remember in years to come!

“Sit still and be quiet…for an hour!”

I like it when families can worship together in a church service. Sometimes it seems too much to ask from a three year old, though.

On the other hand, I’ve heard some people say, “My kids have been sitting through church since they were 18 months old,” and I assume they meant quietly and without leaping over the pew in front of them. Usually, this meant they were threatened with spanking and the parents really meant what they said.

Should we make children sit through the worship service? Perhaps we should have reasonable limits and expectations. Some parents don’t allow their children to do anything but fold their hands while others allow drawing or coloring.

Last night a precious three year old girl sat with me for a little while during church. I didn’t really have anything for her to do, so I (regretfully) allowed her to pull everything out of my purse! Money and credit cards were flying all over the seat.

My thought was that I couldn’t expect her sit there with nothing to do and this would keep her busy for a while, and it did. I can’t say that I would do that again, though, which is what inspired me to write this post.

What do you do with a three year old child or younger during a church service? (excluding spanking, nursery, and duct tape—just kidding!)

Through the years I have seen the following ideas used:

• Cheerios and juice: stuff their mouth full and they won’t make much sound. Never mind the mess on the floor and the chairs. (I’m not crazy about the mess it makes or kids eating in the sanctuary. Feeding or nursing a baby is completely different, of course.)
• If he unfolds his hands or uncrosses his legs yank the flailing, screaming kid up by the arm, drag him to the bathroom and…you know the spanking ritual.
• Wear them out through playing so they sleep the entire worship service. When they’re very young this might not be an issue but at some point you want them to actually take part in the singing, offering, and listening to the sermon—even if they don’t understand it all.
• Oh, isn’t she cute climbing the platform steps all by herself—and right in the middle of the sermon! Awww… (um…yeah, this could be a slight distraction!)

I’ve actually been thinking about this issue off and on for at least 9 years. The ideas that have come to my mind include these:

• Train them at home first. (If you have a time of family worship each day, that’s the perfect time to practice!)

o   Practice 5-10 minutes at a time at first of quiet play in your lap or next to you on the couch. Act as if you were in the service, and whisper instead of talking out loud. You could even say, “We’re playing church.”

• Have a special bag of quiet toys or books for them to handle during church. Only use these toys at church or perhaps during “practice” at home. (Cloth books are great for this.)

Whatever we decide to do with young children during church I think our expectations and boundaries should be reasonable.

What do YOU do when you can’t/won’t send your child to the nursery?

Cookie Cutter Curriculum

Have you ever thought that maybe your child is just not good at a particular subject? Perhaps you have been told your child has a learning disorder. I’m not dismissing the fact that some children might have real disorders or that learning can be challenging in a particular subject.

Would you take a moment to think outside the box with me, though? The “box” to which I am referring is boxed curriculum. You know, the box full of neatly organized lesson plans, teacher’s books, and student workbooks that you paid big bucks for?

In our homeschool endeavors we all need some of that structure that the boxed curriculum provides, but I am afraid that one particular curriculum just doesn’t cut it for every student. As you might have experienced in the clothing department, one size does not fit all.

Will the boxed curriculum fit some students’ learning style, abilities, and interests? We all know people who excelled in school, and good for them! My concern is the majority of other children whose learning style is kinesthetic or tactile and whose abilities show up more on the soccer field, for example, than in the classroom.

Is there hope for that kid who just doesn’t seem to grasp reading yet at eight years old, or the child who stares out the window and daydreams instead of working her math problems? Yes, I firmly believe there is hope! It takes an attentive, willing parent or teacher to discover their needs and assess their abilities, though. Beware of the cookie cutter curriculum. It doesn’t fit every child!

Falling Behind in Homeschooling and How to Catch Up

So your children are behind in their school work, maybe even a grade level or two. There are a thousand ways this can happen including family illness, vacation, moving, struggling in a particular subject, or the grandparents coming to visit.

The truth is that life happens.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you sit in the “depths of despair”, worried that your child is scarred for life because they are behind in math.

You are not alone. That family that looks like they’ve got it all together…doesn’t.

All children learn at different speeds. It is not unusual for a child to excel in one area and seem to be slow in another subject. They will get it on their time schedule.

Here are a few ideas I just sent to a friend who is struggling in this area:

• Consider combining subjects when you can. For instance, take note of the geographical location, time in history, and new vocabulary in whatever they are reading (family Bible time or another book you are reading aloud as a family). By having the children write a few sentences about what they just read/heard you are combining the three subjects mentioned above plus handwriting, spelling, and grammar! Sometimes math and science can be applied here, also.
• Another possibility is to just focus on the basics for now (math, reading, & writing). Chances are they will go through that history or science lesson again in a future grade.
• Cross out some of the questions on the math worksheet if there is a lot of repetition. It is common for some subjects to do several weeks of review. Consider eliminating this when it is obvious the child has already mastered the concept.
• I’m not sure if you have school all year long or take a summer break. Some people find that it keeps the rhythm better and eliminates the need for weeks of review when they aim to some do school work nearly every day, taking breaks when they need to for sickness or vacation.

I realize that you might not be comfortable with some of these suggestions, and that’s okay! They do require flexibility and a letting go of the feeling that we “must finish this workbook”. On the other hand, if they want to do an extra page or so in their spare time, go for it!

Here’s another article I recently read about falling behind in homeschooling.

Bible Curriculum for Children

These past few weeks I have been preparing the children's Bible curriculum for our church. One of my pet peeves is Sunday School curriculum that only teaches topical lessons for children and rarely puts Bible events in chronological order. For instance," let's learn to be kind like Abraham or Rebekah". Not that I'm against kindness or even topical Bible study, but at some point we need to get HIStory in proper order.

So what curriculum presents Bible events in chronological order? I'm glad you asked. Firm Foundations Children's Edition is an excellent example. But not only does Firm Foundations present the events in order, it also focuses on God and His plan of redemption. Because of this, it doesn't have every event recorded, or it would take years, but it beautifully illustrates how we became separated from God through sin and how God sent a Deliverer (Jesus) to reconcile us. (This curriculum is aimed at fourth graders but could be adapted for various ages.)

If you're looking for something for younger children, The Lamb is a beautifully illustrated book that clearly presents God's plan of redemption. I'll be starting this book with my 3-6 year old class* in two weeks. It is ten chapters/lessons long. I just finished putting together coloring pages to go with it.

*Update: We now have a primary class (1st-3rd grade) and I'll be teaching The Lamb to those children instead of the younger ones. The three and four year olds didn't seem to fully grasp the meaning of it.