“Sit still and be quiet…for an hour!”

I like it when families can worship together in a church service. Sometimes it seems too much to ask from a three year old, though.

On the other hand, I’ve heard some people say, “My kids have been sitting through church since they were 18 months old,” and I assume they meant quietly and without leaping over the pew in front of them. Usually, this meant they were threatened with spanking and the parents really meant what they said.

Should we make children sit through the worship service? Perhaps we should have reasonable limits and expectations. Some parents don’t allow their children to do anything but fold their hands while others allow drawing or coloring.

Last night a precious three year old girl sat with me for a little while during church. I didn’t really have anything for her to do, so I (regretfully) allowed her to pull everything out of my purse! Money and credit cards were flying all over the seat.

My thought was that I couldn’t expect her sit there with nothing to do and this would keep her busy for a while, and it did. I can’t say that I would do that again, though, which is what inspired me to write this post.

What do you do with a three year old child or younger during a church service? (excluding spanking, nursery, and duct tape—just kidding!)

Through the years I have seen the following ideas used:

• Cheerios and juice: stuff their mouth full and they won’t make much sound. Never mind the mess on the floor and the chairs. (I’m not crazy about the mess it makes or kids eating in the sanctuary. Feeding or nursing a baby is completely different, of course.)
• If he unfolds his hands or uncrosses his legs yank the flailing, screaming kid up by the arm, drag him to the bathroom and…you know the spanking ritual.
• Wear them out through playing so they sleep the entire worship service. When they’re very young this might not be an issue but at some point you want them to actually take part in the singing, offering, and listening to the sermon—even if they don’t understand it all.
• Oh, isn’t she cute climbing the platform steps all by herself—and right in the middle of the sermon! Awww… (um…yeah, this could be a slight distraction!)

I’ve actually been thinking about this issue off and on for at least 9 years. The ideas that have come to my mind include these:

• Train them at home first. (If you have a time of family worship each day, that’s the perfect time to practice!)

o   Practice 5-10 minutes at a time at first of quiet play in your lap or next to you on the couch. Act as if you were in the service, and whisper instead of talking out loud. You could even say, “We’re playing church.”

• Have a special bag of quiet toys or books for them to handle during church. Only use these toys at church or perhaps during “practice” at home. (Cloth books are great for this.)

Whatever we decide to do with young children during church I think our expectations and boundaries should be reasonable.

What do YOU do when you can’t/won’t send your child to the nursery?

Cookie Cutter Curriculum

Have you ever thought that maybe your child is just not good at a particular subject? Perhaps you have been told your child has a learning disorder. I’m not dismissing the fact that some children might have real disorders or that learning can be challenging in a particular subject.

Would you take a moment to think outside the box with me, though? The “box” to which I am referring is boxed curriculum. You know, the box full of neatly organized lesson plans, teacher’s books, and student workbooks that you paid big bucks for?

In our homeschool endeavors we all need some of that structure that the boxed curriculum provides, but I am afraid that one particular curriculum just doesn’t cut it for every student. As you might have experienced in the clothing department, one size does not fit all.

Will the boxed curriculum fit some students’ learning style, abilities, and interests? We all know people who excelled in school, and good for them! My concern is the majority of other children whose learning style is kinesthetic or tactile and whose abilities show up more on the soccer field, for example, than in the classroom.

Is there hope for that kid who just doesn’t seem to grasp reading yet at eight years old, or the child who stares out the window and daydreams instead of working her math problems? Yes, I firmly believe there is hope! It takes an attentive, willing parent or teacher to discover their needs and assess their abilities, though. Beware of the cookie cutter curriculum. It doesn’t fit every child!

Falling Behind in Homeschooling and How to Catch Up

So your children are behind in their school work, maybe even a grade level or two. There are a thousand ways this can happen including family illness, vacation, moving, struggling in a particular subject, or the grandparents coming to visit.

The truth is that life happens.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you sit in the “depths of despair”, worried that your child is scarred for life because they are behind in math.

You are not alone. That family that looks like they’ve got it all together…doesn’t.

All children learn at different speeds. It is not unusual for a child to excel in one area and seem to be slow in another subject. They will get it on their time schedule.

Here are a few ideas I just sent to a friend who is struggling in this area:

• Consider combining subjects when you can. For instance, take note of the geographical location, time in history, and new vocabulary in whatever they are reading (family Bible time or another book you are reading aloud as a family). By having the children write a few sentences about what they just read/heard you are combining the three subjects mentioned above plus handwriting, spelling, and grammar! Sometimes math and science can be applied here, also.
• Another possibility is to just focus on the basics for now (math, reading, & writing). Chances are they will go through that history or science lesson again in a future grade.
• Cross out some of the questions on the math worksheet if there is a lot of repetition. It is common for some subjects to do several weeks of review. Consider eliminating this when it is obvious the child has already mastered the concept.
• I’m not sure if you have school all year long or take a summer break. Some people find that it keeps the rhythm better and eliminates the need for weeks of review when they aim to some do school work nearly every day, taking breaks when they need to for sickness or vacation.

I realize that you might not be comfortable with some of these suggestions, and that’s okay! They do require flexibility and a letting go of the feeling that we “must finish this workbook”. On the other hand, if they want to do an extra page or so in their spare time, go for it!

Here’s another article I recently read about falling behind in homeschooling.

Bible Curriculum for Children

These past few weeks I have been preparing the children's Bible curriculum for our church. One of my pet peeves is Sunday School curriculum that only teaches topical lessons for children and rarely puts Bible events in chronological order. For instance," let's learn to be kind like Abraham or Rebekah". Not that I'm against kindness or even topical Bible study, but at some point we need to get HIStory in proper order.

So what curriculum presents Bible events in chronological order? I'm glad you asked. Firm Foundations Children's Edition is an excellent example. But not only does Firm Foundations present the events in order, it also focuses on God and His plan of redemption. Because of this, it doesn't have every event recorded, or it would take years, but it beautifully illustrates how we became separated from God through sin and how God sent a Deliverer (Jesus) to reconcile us. (This curriculum is aimed at fourth graders but could be adapted for various ages.)

If you're looking for something for younger children, The Lamb is a beautifully illustrated book that clearly presents God's plan of redemption. I'll be starting this book with my 3-6 year old class* in two weeks. It is ten chapters/lessons long. I just finished putting together coloring pages to go with it.

*Update: We now have a primary class (1st-3rd grade) and I'll be teaching The Lamb to those children instead of the younger ones. The three and four year olds didn't seem to fully grasp the meaning of it.