First Placement of Kids

Well, we've started off with a real challenge! Uno (6 yr old boy), Dos (4 yr old girl), and Tres (3 yr old girl) have come from a home where, without going into detail, they were greatly deprived of food and love, to say the least. They have been in separate foster homes, the girls together and the boy in another home. The agency wanted them to be together, of course, so they called us up and asked if we would take them. It just so happened that we were at the dealership buying a van that could hold them!

Having these children made me realize again how good (and easy) Boy9 and Girl5 were! They were angels and their younger siblings were not too bad either. These precious ones I have now have apparently had no boundaries or discipline. As soon as we got them they were pushing our buttons and seeing what they could get away with. 

So far, Uno has punched me in the back while I was taking him to time-out, kicking and screaming. They are supposed to be napping right now (Uno can play quietly in his room) but they keep getting up. 

I should get the paperwork to enroll him in school tomorrow. Uno is in Kindergarten so having just the two girls  during the day should help some.

We could use a lot of prayer right now if you think about it.

Week 8: Take Time for Training

With a 1, 2, and 3 year old you wouldn't think I'd have much time for training at all! Then again, just about everything we did involved training them in some way. One particular area of training that Josh and I both had a part in was putting the toys away. Before they arrived for their second stay at our house I brainstormed an idea for making clean up time easier and more efficient.

The first time the kids were with us it was a nightmare trying to get them to pick up the toys. I also didn't even remember which bin I had which toy in, so there was no order to the clean up process, just throwing the toys in a random spot.

Here is what I came up with, though I am sure it is not a new idea by any means. I took a picture of the toys that belong in each bin and printed out the photo with the name of the toy and taped it to the bottom of the appropriate bin. Since I haven't finished buying all of the toys for our collection, not all of the bins are labeled yet, which caused some confusion.

still working on this but some bins are labeled and ready

The beautiful thing was that after we showed them the photo inside the bin and how to put them inside, they seemed to understand it and actually enjoy it. In fact, on two different occasions Boy3 decided, on his own, to pick up the toys, without me asking him to!! I usually had them clean up during a transition such as right before a meal, bedtime, or going somewhere. I think he must have picked up on this because both times he decided to pick up were times when we were about to do something different.

We Are Officially Licensed!!!!

Well, we finally got our license for foster parenting! Now, it is only a matter of time before we get some children placed with us. The anticipation begins!!

Week 7: Special Time

What could be more important than spending special time with your child? Here are some good reasons and also some ideas for spending time with your children:

• Schedule Special Time for Connection an excerpt from Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson
• How to make a "date night" feel special to your young child by Mary Tamborski

When Boy9 and Girl5 were with us we spent a lot of one-on-one time with them. One particular time when Josh was helping Boy9 with his homework in his room he said, "I wanna live here." Could it have been that one-on-one time of Josh focusing his full loving attention on him? They weren't even doing a "fun" activity.

Josh was gone to work most of the time I had the three little ones of Sibling Group 1, so finding individual time with them was nearly impossible. However, I could tell they felt happy and loved, especially when I simply sat in the middle of the floor and let them sit on my lap and I tickled them for just a few minutes. They looked like the happiest children in the world then.

  

By the way, I just found another blogger who uses positive discipline and shares her ups and downs of parenting in a very helpful way!

Whack-A-Mole

Ever played the game "Whack-A-Mole"? Well, although I wasn't doing any whacking, that is what having a 1, 2, and 3 year old in my care felt like most of the time. lol Other than nap time and bedtime it was constant running from one child to another to meet their needs and wants. I was tremendously blessed that they were great sleepers, although Girl2 usually cried for about 30 minutes and one night I heard her still talking to herself and playing at 10pm! The great thing was that she was sleeping in a Pack N Play so at least she couldn't roam around and get into things. (No, she hasn't mastered climbing out yet.)

Today was the day they were to meet with an older sibling who doesn't live with them in their current foster home. I was told that someone (from CPS, I assume) bringing the older sibling would pick them up from my house at noon and then they would be back with their foster mom. By 11:45 they were fed (breakfast, snack, & lunch), bathed, dressed in their cute little outfits, and all of their things were ready to be carried out the door. They even picked up all the toys!

At some point after noon I received a phone call from the lady and she said she was about 20 minutes away. Well, toddlers don't just sit and wait nicely. These little guys were ready for their nap which always follows lunch, so it was nothing but whining and tantrums for the rest of the time. Long story* short: She arrived about two hours later in a convertible mustang (top up, of course) in which it is impossible to fit 3 car seats! So, I voluntarily drove the kids (older sister included) 30 minutes away in our borrowed suburban (cause the car seats didn't fit in our volvo either!) to their destination. *The long story included Girl2 peeing all over my hand. :)

The moral of the story is... Don't assume other people are going to actually arrive on time or do what they say they are going to. Put the kids to bed for their nap or whatever is next on the schedule and let them figure it out! Put the kids' needs first!

Can anyone help with this issue I need to resolve?

• The two-year old could not reach the water in the bathroom sink and the three year old really had to reach quite far. Do you know how often a two and three year old have to urinate?? Not only do they have to have a two-second pee but they might need assistance in taking off their diaper, wiping, wiping up all the pee that landed on the seat, and reminding to flush, but they certainly must wash their hands, (even though they might not have contaminated them in the least little bit. :) ) every single time they enter the restroom. Did I mention if one of them had to go to the bathroom the other one also suddenly had the urge to pee? Oh, and meanwhile the baby is crawling and getting into who-knows-what. Yes, I have a foot stool, but it isn't tall enough. 

**After I posted this, a couple of people recommended this faucet extender. Great idea for them to be able to reach the water, at least!

Health and Fire Inspection

Boy1 checkin' out the computer

On Monday, the health inspector came by and checked our home. It only lasted about five minutes! Here are the things she checked for:

• clean, safe environment
• free of odors
• hot running water
• outlet covers for all visible/reachable plugs
• medicines locked away
• lid on kitchen trash or placed inside a cabinet
• chemicals out of reach (our cleaners are in our laundry room top cabinets)
• no standing water in yard
• no boards with nails laying around yard

Some things depended on what ages of children we were taking in. If only toddlers, for instance, some things didn't have to be locked away but simply put up out of their reach. I don't remember her mentioning the knives being up high but we have ours in a top cabinet. We passed!

Today, the fire inspector stopped by and simply checked these things:

• Do we have an escape plan? 
• Do we have a 5 lb fire extinguisher? 
• Do we have working smoke alarms in each bedroom? NEW!

He liked our fire escape plan, which showed all exits (doors and windows) and the route out of each room. I put one in every bedroom and the kids' bathroom with a "you are here" dot and route out of the room, but I guess I didn't really need it! Oh well. 

I did have to go buy another fire extinguisher because ours was only 2.5 lb. He let me run to the store and get it and then he stopped back by the house to check. Then, he gave me the passed inspection form.

I don't know of anything else we need to do to get licensed. I haven't told you half of the things we've had to do or sign, but this should give you a glimpse. See the short checklist here. The agency told me they would audit our file on Friday, so we'll see where we are then!

Weeks 5 & 6: Compliments and Routines

I hope you're following along! Who couldn't use some extra ideas in parenting (or teaching in a classroom)?

• How to decrease insults and bickering among your children--Jane Nelson
• Mary tells us things that made her family's week more peaceful and cooperative.

• How to make bedtimes peaceful and stress-free...with a 3 year old!
• Adapting the routine chart for teenagers
• Jane describes the how-to's and benefits of routines.

Looking forward to the day when I can implement these on a daily basis with my foster children! Then, I will have something to write about myself. :)

More Respite Care--the Siblings of Boy9 and Girl5

Well, they've picked some of the most gorgeous children on earth to give me for respite care! :) I'll probably get to watch these little guys again soon. Here are the genders and ages: Boy3, Girl2, Boy1 (crawling & standing some but not yet walking).

I don't have many real toddler toys but I had two large cardboard boxes and they really enjoyed playing with them! I need to find some things that babies can actually put in their mouths safely. 

They loved it when I got on the floor with them and tickled them. They fought over my lap and got lots and lots of hugs!!

Duplex We Purchased: Inside Side B

"Baby" Room

"Baby" Room

Older Kid's Room

Older Kid's Room

Dining Room

Kitchen

Living Room 

Office Area in Living Room

Our Snuggler Recliner :)

Master Bedroom

The Home Study

Yesterday a young lady came to our house and interviewed Josh and I for four hours. She said she had to write a story about us, about 25 pages long. After she asked us every question in the book, so to speak, she took a tour of our house and jotted down a description of each room. The questions she asked were mostly about our childhood and our relationship then and now with our parents and siblings.

older kid's room

I had read and heard about home studies before for foster care and/or adoption but I had heard so many different stories I wasn't sure what to expect. It seemed to turn out fine, but I wasn't expecting four hours of personal questions! We were exhausted and I'm sure she was, too.

The purpose of the home study, from what I understand, is to have a good description of who we are and what our home is like in order to best match a child(ren) with us.

She asked us what we have done to make our home safe for kids, so we told her about the safety locks on cabinets, knives are up high (I'll eventually add a cabinet lock also for them), cleaners out of reach, meds locked away, etc.

So, we still have the fire and health inspections to go and a few more things and we should be licensed! But thank God the home study is over!