Special Needs for Special Kids

Reactive Attachment Disorder?

As an attempt to start off on a good note, Uno is officially going to first grade and he graduates from Kindergarten this evening. Strangely enough he says he has already graduated in another school and his sisters claim to remember the event, too! I'm not sure if there was a communication gap or what, but we were told he was in Kindergarten when we got him. Apparently it didn't hurt him academically.

We've had the kids nearly 3 months now and, while they have come a long way in some areas, they are showing some unusual behaviors lately. Uno's behavior is getting worse, especially at school, and the girls are having more not-so-great moments. I am exhausted just trying to make it through the day without losing my mind.

When I'm around other people it seems they think our kids are no different than their kids. "He's just an active little boy. She's so cute!" They don't see what I see all day long. Tres continues to urinate on the carpet in her bedroom at random times, even when she seems happy. It doesn't seem to make sense. Now, Uno is urinating in his room, in his trash can, and his bed. These are not accidents. This is peeing on purpose for seemingly no reason. One of the indications of RAD is that they are sweet around everyone but their primary caregiver.

Dos, who is usually the more reserved one, lashed out on Josh (whom she dearly loves and clings to). I think she was supposed to be sitting in time out and wouldn't go and kicked, hit, and tried to bite Josh for a while. Then, during church (I was home with a bad headache), Uno was kicking and fighting Josh. Tres has her share of these fits of rage, especially when she has to sit in time out or is corrected. They don't do this all the time, but at random times.

According to Uno's teacher he is continuing to act out and his behavior is escalating. She said since he has joined her class the whole atmosphere of her classroom has changed. The children who used to be well-behaved are now acting out terribly. She says he has no self-control and cannot sit still to do his work. Her and the principal have strongly recommended that we talk to his pediatrician. So, I did it. I made the appointment. I don't want to put him on medication but I do want him to get help somehow. Unfortunately, the current therapist isn't helping. I hope and pray we can get an accurate diagnosis from someone.

A friend mentioned RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) and I remembered some things I had read years ago. I went to the library and found two books on the subject and I've already read some things that have helped me at least feel better and have some hope! One of the things is that normal parenting does not work on RAD children!! Thank you very much! 

The first recommendation in the book is "Take care of yourself first", so I am going to try to start getting more sleep, get someone to watch the kids for a little while every week, and attempt to have some real quiet time each day. Whew. 

Hoping and praying to find an attachment therapist soon. I'll keep you updated when I get a free minute!