12-month Court Process for Foster Children

The big question concerning foster children is, "How long will the child(ren) be in your home?" This is a tough question to answer because usually foster parents have no idea! We received this chart in our PRIDE training last Saturday. This can at least be a reference for those who are concerned about the timeline of the children in our care.

Adventures in Baby-sitting--The Conclusion

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Overall, I enjoyed baby-sitting my nephews! It was a lot of work but I am so glad I had the time to bond with them and get to know them better. I learned some things along the way:

• I love Positive Discipline methods, but until I figure them out for kids under six years old, I'll be using a kind and firm time-out!
• If I am confident with what I am trying to teach them, keep it up and eventually they will get it. Such was the case with my dog. I kept saying over and over that he wouldn't hurt them and he just wants to play. Though at first they were screaming their lungs out, it didn't take them long to understand what I said was true.
• The Tickle Monster needs to visit frequently!

Nate and Trey found some balloons that were leftover prizes from church. That was one of their favorite things to play with at my house! The best part to them was that they got to take the balloons home with them. 

Nate, what was your happiest time at my house? 

Playing with Chico!

Adventures in Baby-sitting--Church with the Boys

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 3

Part 1
Part 2
Part 4

The Tickle Monster!

After the bout with time-outs I wanted to reconnect with Nate and Trey. They didn't seem upset at all and they didn't cry when they were in time-out. I just wanted to keep their environment relaxed and happy. So...

...the tickle monster arrived! I chased the boys through the house and tickled them when they landed on Grandma's bed. They had a blast and loved every minute of it! It was my favorite time of all while they were staying with me.

Mom prepared a good meal for Nate and Trey that Saturday evening, so we ate and then I took the boys back to my house. We played, picked up the toys, ate a snack, prepared for bed (including a bath), and read books. I have a book called, Being Destructive. We read it on Friday night and Nate wanted to read it again on Saturday night! I was surprised since it was kind of long.

Josh came home on Saturday night after the boys were asleep. The next morning Josh prepared eggs for breakfast and dressed the boys for me. :) They love Josh! Thankfully, the boys had another great night of sleep. We ended up leaving for church 15 minutes earlier than usual! 

Learning to Sit Still

I'll skip to the church service...at the beginning of the service the boys were both sitting with my mom, I think, but eventually both boys ended up on the second row with me. Big mistake! Josh was playing the guitar so he couldn't help, and the boys decided to put on their silly act for the rest of the congregation. :) After a few minutes of trying to get them to sit down beside me I took their hands and led them down the aisle out of the sanctuary. "Let's go to time-out." I told them.

I tried sitting in the very back with them but they kept banging their heads against the wall, making quite a racket, to the point of people turning around to see what was going on! So my mom and I both took the boys to the foyer where there were two chairs. They sat down and were not phased a bit. They were still acting silly like it was all a game. I know they are just little ones and don't completely understand everything. Mom and I were frustrated though!

Thankfully, the time out calmed them down and they finally understood we meant business. Mom took Trey with her and she said he played with a toy quietly during the service. I looked Nate in the eyes, and told him that I knew he could sit quietly in church. I rubbed his back while I said this. I also explained exactly what was going to happen during church (sing, hear preaching, piano plays, go home)

"What will happen if you start jumping around and being loud?"

"I'll have to sit in time-out."

And Nate did sit quietly and still the rest of the church service! Whew!

Adventures in Baby-sitting--SuperNanny Arrives!

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 2

Part 1

Part 3
Part 4

Saturday

After an AMAZING night's sleep, (for the boys, that is) Nate and Trey woke up full of joy. I honestly thought they would wake up crying or something. They slept from about 9pm until 8am Saturday morning! I was so thankful they had a good night's sleep!

They ate a good breakfast and played for a while and then I measured out the ingredients for making whole wheat sugar cookies. I let them dump the ingredients into the bowl, which was a wonderful treat to them! I also taught them how to use the electric mixer--another delightful experience.

Off to Grandma's House

After a while we took the dough over to my parents' house so we could eventually make and decorate cookies over there, so they could enjoy the boys, too. My mistake was not making them take a nap! When I'm baby-sitting someone else's children I try to choose my battles carefully, though. They take naps at day care during the week but not usually when they're at home.

I did want the boys to at least do something low key for a while, so I put in one of the DVDs they had brought along. Apparently that wasn't enough rest for the poor little guys. Guess I should have done what I would have done with my own kids. Anyway, by the time the dough was ready they were uninterested in making cookies! lol

I jumped in and started messing with the dough, though, and they eventually came around and decorated some. Trey loved pouring the sprinkles on the cookies and stood on the stool for a while, helping. Nate was good at eating the cookies once they were baked. :)

Not used to having two active little boys in my house, I was exhausted! But I knew that it was perfect training for having foster kids. 

The boys got a second wind that afternoon and started acting silly and screaming again. They took off their shirts, which I decided not to battle with (after all, they weren't trekking through the snow or anything!), but the screaming I would not tolerate.

SuperNanny to the Rescue!

Up until now, I had been using Positive Discipline techniques (no punishment, just kind and firm teaching) with the boys. However, when they refused to stop screaming I remembered what I had watched on SuperNanny.  (the firm, one-warning-and-then-time-out technique) It took a while, as it does with most kids, for them to realize they really had to sit there until it was time to get up. (only one minute per year of age) When they got up before their allotted time, the timer started over.

After a couple of sessions of time-out, the boys started obeying me. They would scream, for instance, and then I would say, "If you scream again, you will sit in time-out." They would say, "Okay".

Stay tuned for part three in this series!

Adventures in Baby-sitting--Two Boys and a Dog

Adventures in Baby-sitting, Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Trey is standing on a stool and Nate is on the right.

Last weekend I had two of my nephews from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. Nate is 4 years old and Trey is 2.5 years. They are very active and love to be silly. Trey imitates just about everything that Nate does.

Right after their parents left on Friday afternoon I think they were just playing, but I can't remember the details. We were still at my parents' house but it was just my mom, grandmother, and the boys and I. Somewhere I got the crazy idea to take them in public so soon go to Chic-fil-A and let them play on the small, indoor playground. So around 4 or 5pm the boys, my mom, Grandma, and me went to the Chic-fil-A near my house. 

Testing the Boundaries with Aunt Kerry

It was about this time the boys decided to test me out, I think. "Let's see what we can get away with!" Before we even got in the car, they decided to run the other way, laughing. After taking their hands and leading them to their car seats, we were on our way.

The testing game continued in the car. They decided to scream (just for fun) as loudly as they could. I asked them to stop but it was too hilarious for them to stop. We arrived at the fast food joint and when we got inside to stand in line, they decided they wanted to pull on my arm and not stand up. Of course, we were surrounded by people, but I told Trey in a firm voice to stand up and he did for a minute.

As we sat down to eat they didn't act very hungry and took turns jumping on the seat and then sliding under the table to try to escape. I did insist that they eat some before they played and they did. My mom ended up with Nate in her lap and Trey was right beside me with my arm around him. They finally figured out that they weren't going anywhere until they ate something. 

After playing for a while they were ready to go to my house. My mother and Grandma had already left. So, we arrived at our duplex with a trunk full of their belongings. Hmm... There was no way I could carry it all in one shot so I took the boys in the house and told them to wait while I made a couple of trips to the car. 

Terrified By the Dog

My mistake was not introducing them to the dog first! Chico, my year old Shih Tzu, was in the kitchen, behind a gate, but when he sees someone new he gets super excited. He jumps up and down and cries. Evidently, this put some fear into the boys! I was afraid, though, that if I waited to get the stuff out of the trunk that it would be dark and I would totally forget about it. Then, I would have had to run outside to grab a diaper and pajamas and stuff. I now realize that would have been much better than having the boys terrified by the dog! I have to say that my dog is great with kids and he didn't do anything to harm them.

Silly Chico!

So, when I got everything in the house I needed to let the dog out, but Nate freaked out and said, "No! I don't want you to let him out!" This made Trey get scared, too, so Nate started screaming for his Daddy and Trey started screaming for Mommy! For a minute, I seriously considered taking everything back to the car and spending the night at my parents, without the dog.

I knew, because of past experience, that if I left the dog in the kitchen he would continue to jump around and want to greet our visitors, therefore being even more obnoxious. Also, the sooner the boys got to know Chico, the sooner they would realize that he would not hurt them.

Long story short, after much screaming, letting the dog out of the kitchen but holding Nate (Trey must have been on the recliner), I decided to create a diversion. "Hey, guys it's bath time!"

I don't know why, but BATH TIME SAVED THE DAY! Once they got in the bathtub with the new Ferrari Hot Wheels we bought, they were like different children. While they were in the bathtub they even talked about playing with Chico when they got out.  Huh?!

And so it was that they were calm and learned to love Chico in a span of about 30 minutes. Whew! I wasn't sure if I still wanted a dog after that fiasco!

to be continued...

Shopping!

We needed a step stool for the bathroom but I thought I'd go ahead and get a potty, too! I like things that are multi-purpose. :)

Cloth Baby Toys
The cab of the truck unzips and holds the tools.

Nothing like a set of wooden blocks!

I'm really trying to not accumulate a million cheap, plastic toys. I mean, how many of your kid's toys do your kids actually end up playing with? I will admit, though, it is hard not to buy a lot of toys. There are so many cute things out there, but I really want just some basic toys that will hopefully last a long time. We'll see how long this philosophy lasts when we get kids in the house! 

It's for their own good, though. They won't have as much to clean up and they won't be ruined by having too many material things. It can also teach them responsibility with saving their own money to buy something they want. That is another subject entirely, though.

Any suggestions on what other toys to buy? What are your kid's favorite toys?

Upcoming Training and An Update

Upcoming Schedule for Foster Care Training Classes:

• December 3rd  PRIDE
• December 10th* PAPH and MEDS & Trauma Informed Care  

We have filled out every piece of paperwork that is possible at this time, so we are somewhat in the waiting stage. In a way, it feels like a pregnancy (not that I've ever experienced one before). Feelings of excitement are in the air, but at the same time a realization that everything in our lives is about to drastically change--for the better, of course! :) I'm also somewhat in awe or shock, realizing that something I've been waiting for for over 10 years is about to happen--I'll be a mother.

On another note, we are waiting to get the final approval on a loan for a duplex we are trying to purchase. We were told to wait until Josh has been at the same job for a year. (That was last month.) The side in which we will be living has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Both sides have a garage. We will rent out the other side, of course. The owners have kept the place meticulously clean and it has just been painted and has brand new carpet!

I will certainly post pictures as soon as we close. If we do get this duplex we will have two bedrooms for the children, which will be great! I'll have to come up with another color scheme for the other bedroom. The one we have is more masculine than I intended but I really like it. I'll try to go more neutral on this other bedroom, though.

When we get a final word on the duplex we will be able to prepare our home for the inspections and the photos we have to have for foster care. I don't want to put child safety locks on all of our cabinets if we are just going to move in a matter of weeks! So, as soon as we find out we will have a lot to do.

When and if this loan is approved and we close on the duplex, Josh should be able to switch companies. This would mean that he would have more flexible hours and make more money. He also would not have to be gone for five days at a time.

*Edited 11/16/11 since the dates and location have changed. They are now holding classes in the city right next to us! We no longer have to travel 2.5 hours away on Saturday!