Parenting Effectively Series, Introduction

Introduction

This series began as a study on parenting that I was putting together for myself. After reading numerous (14 and counting) parenting books over the past ten years I wanted a way to put it all together in my mind and actually apply what I was reading.

When our first foster children came to us, they had many undesirable behaviors, some that were dangerous and needed to be addressed immediately. On top of that, there were three of them and they fed off of each other’s negative behavior! It seemed like chaos, and although I had been reading positive discipline books for several years it wasn’t second nature yet, so negative parenting came out at times.

There were many things that we did with our foster children that worked and their behavior did improve drastically. However, after dealing with those behaviors day after day with rarely a break I became extremely exhausted and my patience was nearly non-existent. It was then that I resorted to yelling and getting angry, something I never wanted to do as a parent.

Thus, I sat down at my computer and started compiling all of the helpful tools I had gleaned from the parenting books I had read (and am still reading). This series could potentially go on forever, but you’ll be relieved that I made an outline and it has six major points, each of which will be a post in the Parenting Effectively series.

Here are some of the parenting books from which I am getting this information:

·         Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk 

·         Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson 

·         Positive Discipline in the Christian Home by Jane Nelson, Cheryl Erwin, Michael L. Brock, and Mary L. Hughes 

·         The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child by Alan E. Kazdin (currently reading) 

·         The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, and Wendy Sunshine 

I might not agree with the authors on every point, but I would highly recommend reading these books. 

So this is my disclaimer. I am simply writing a series on what I am learning as a parent. I do not claim to have all the answers, but if this series gives you more tools for your parenting toolbox, more power to you!

Before you read this series:

·         I encourage you to keep an open mind and discover what really is best for your child, long-term.  This might involve a paradigm shift, but aren't your children worth it? 

·         I encourage you to pause and think about what kind of adult you would like your child to be someday. What qualities would you want them to have? (capable, healthy self-image, diligent, cooperative, self-controlled, compassionate, emotionally stable, etc.) 

·         Remember that the main points are to have a heart-to-heart connection with your child and to deal with their behavior in a kind and firm way by staying calm and having lots of tools in your parenting toolbox. That's what this series is designed to help us do.