The Story of Valor and Levi: Adoption?

Part 4 January 2013

"I have been seriously praying about adopting these boys." The shocking words came from my husband one night when I was at the end of my emotional strength.

Valor's excessive attachment, the tantrums and other things started to wear me down while we were there in Iowa. I was having a lot of anxiety, and then Josh's grandpa passed away. So, we also had to deal with the emotional trauma of a death with our son. He was already a very sensitive child and it was only escalating. He had just met Josh's grandpa but that didn't matter. It was very tough for him (not to mention us). 

Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse. Josh and I got very sick right before his Grandpa's funeral. I had to stay in bed for two days, not able to care for our boys. Thankfully we had help.

The Unexpected Drop

The stomach-wrenching fall down the other side of the roller coaster came via an email from the case worker while we were still in Iowa between the death of Josh's grandpa and when I got sick.

"...I want to also take this time to notify you both that I will be exploring the option of moving all four children within the next month.  Once I know more of the details I will contact each of you to discuss the matter further.  I just wanted to let you know that the potential for family placement is very real in this case and will be explored more thoroughly over the next few weeks..."  (email from the CPS case worker)

The drop was like a blow to the stomach. I didn't even know what to think or feel. It was pure devastation. A complete ripping away of my hopes and dreams. It might sound dramatic, but that is how I felt!

It took me weeks to get over the physical exhaustion of the flu and/or whatever I had, and on top of everything else thinking we were about to lose our boys, I was at the end of my emotional strength. I was done with the heart-wrenching pain of fostering little ones and seeing them leave. I told Josh I just couldn't handle it anymore, so we talked about taking a break and just doing respite care for a while.

A Ray of Hope

Suddenly, though, Josh told me he had been seriously praying about adopting Valor and Levi. Knowing how quickly attached I get to children, he did not tell me about this until he had to. Since CPS was seriously considering moving the boys to another foster home he knew we had to tell them that we would love to adopt them if they came available. Talk about an emotional roller coaster! One minute I think we're going to lose them forever and the next minute I'm told Josh wants to adopt them!

We discovered that the sisters' foster family wanted to adopt the girls and since they were settled in their home so close to us, CASA fought against moving the children. Over the following months CPS tried to move all four children again and CASA once again stood up for our kids. As you might guess, it is detrimental to move children from foster home to foster home, especially once they are settled in.

Other Parts to The Story of Valor and Levi
Part 1 Back to the Beginning
Part 2 Creating an Unstoppable Bond
Part 3 The Honeymoon Ends
Part 5 Anxiously Waiting
Part 6 Hope Delayed