The Story of Valor and Levi: Back to the Beginning

Part 1 November 5, 2012

That Unforgettable Night

Seven short months ago my husband received a call about two boys (7 and almost 1) who had been removed from their home and needed a foster home immediately. Josh gladly said yes and had them call me to make sure. Their ages were almost exactly what we had hoped for. Honestly, after having 3 children 6 and under who had major behavior issues as our first placement, this gap in age was about all I thought I could handle! They said the boys had been no trouble at all at the office all day. The 7 year old was very respectful, and they were right!

Valor* (7) and Levi* (now 18 mo.) were brought to us around 10:30pm.  Valor was quiet and very sweet, smiling at everything we said. Now that I know him well, I know he was nervous, scared, and trying to please us the best he knew how. He is fully Hispanic and had a short, buzzed haircut. Levi was very tired and hardly made any sound or facial expression. His hair was dark brown (exactly the same color as mine) and covering his ears. He was wearing a black onesie that had the name of a heavy metal band on it. 

Sisters!

We later found out that they had two sisters (3 and 5) who were placed in another foster home with our agency just 5.5 miles from us! Neither of us were asked to take all four and I didn't remember them telling us about the other two when we got the call. I don't know whose decision it was to separate them or why. The girls are beautiful Hispanic little girls but over the past months the results of trauma in the birth home have manifested themselves in their behavior. It is interesting how different the boys' behavior is from the girls. Apparently, they have lived apart before because Valor told me the girls lived with their grandparents for a while when his mom was expecting Levi, so Valor had his mom all to himself during that time.

Their History

I often wonder how much is appropriate to post online and then I read other foster parents blog who tell almost everything! I will just say that children are removed from their birth home and placed into foster care because of abuse, neglect, or abandonment. In this case, the children were not abandoned. That about covers it. 

Valor was apparently conceived when his mother was very young. His dad went to prison sometime around Valor's birth. He was released in 2011 and finally chose to see his son for the very first time around February 2013. Valor's birth mom had always told him he didn't have a daddy, so he believed her. Since he asks so many questions, including how babies get here, I had to explain that he does have a daddy. He had already accepted Josh as his current daddy, but was thrilled and amazed to meet his biological dad! Unfortunately, he has not come back to visit him since and we don't know if he will continue to stay in contact with him.

The sisters' father is somewhere in another country and no one has been able to reach him. Valor said his mom was married to him and then divorced a few years later. He said they lived in Mexico for a while.

At some point the birth mom met Levi's birth father. Their relationship was very detrimental to the family. However, a beautiful baby boy came from it! The father did not even know she was pregnant and left sometime before it would be evident. In fact, he did not know he had a son until Levi came to our home. He still has not made contact with or seen his son. He is Caucasian, so Levi is half Hispanic and half Caucasian.

By the way, if you've heard of some wonderful family who had their children taken away from them, it must have been a rare case. DFPS (CPS) does not have the time or resources to remove children on some whim every time they hear of someone "spanking" their child. The birth families are usually investigated more than once and the neglect or abuse is serious enough for the child to be unsafe. No, CPS isn't always right and no, they don't always make the right decisions but they are getting children out of harmful environments and putting them in safe, loving homes. For that, I am very  thankful.

*Valor and Levi are not their real names.

Other Parts to The Story of Valor and Levi
Part 2 Creating an Unstoppable Bond
Part 3 The Honeymoon Ends
Part 4 Adoption?
Part 5 Anxiously Waiting
Part 6 Hope Delayed